M...m...must....Avoid...Spoilers....

I am the ultimate procrastinator. I read the original Harry Potter book about 7 years ago. I really enjoyed it and couldn't wait for the next installment in the series. Then it came, and I had every intention of buying it and reading it, but I just never seemed to get around to it. Then came the third book, and then the fourth and the...well, you get the idea.

I was quite comfortable with the fact that the books would be around for quite some time and that I therefore had no reason to hurry up and get them. But then, a fire was lit under my feet. J.K. Rowling announced that a major character would die in the final book. Now I positively had to read the books before the last one came out. It just wouldn't do to have some obnoxious git blurt out the big secret and ruin all the other reading that I had ahead of me. But, I thought, it will probably be awhile before the final book comes out. So....

Now it's here. All my friends have read it. Everybody is writing about it and talking about it, and what sorry state am I in? I just finished book #2 two days ago. Now I am trapped in a prison of my own making. The danger of accidentally stumbling across the BIG SECRET is overwhelming. I am now afraid to read blogs, news sites, web forums. If I even hear the name Harry Potter, I find myself running frantically in the opposite direction. I'm even afraid to open the front door for fear of being confronted by missionaries from some religious group gleefully bearing the bad news ("this week in The Watchtower: Harry Potter Character [Insert Name Here] Dead, but the Wickedness Lives On," or "in this month's Ensign: Family Home Evening Activities to Help Your Children Cope with the Death of [Harry Potter Mystery Character]"). Even the mailman can't be trusted ("Hello, Mr. Kungfupower. Nice day isn't it? A pity about [dead HP dude], though."

I thought about filling my ears with beeswax and covering my head with a paper sack in order to further protect myself while out and about in public, but that makes driving far too difficult. I think my only hope is to avoid others as much as possible, lock myself away during every free hour I have, and read until my eyes are throbbing with pain. Much sacrifice will be necessary to make up for years worth of callous neglect, but Kungfupower is up to the challenge.

And a warning to any vile miscreant who may foolishly seek to amuse himself by daring to reveal the Sacred Secret in my presence: if you do so, your empty noggin shall be swiftly introduced to the dire effects of Kungfupower's perfected Drunken Panda Falls From Heaven Iron Paw of Death technique.

It's best that you don't even think about it.

Hilarious Harry Potter Video

If you are a Harry Potter fan, then be sure to check out Erica's blog for an awesome Harry Potter vid she found on YouTube. It's pure comedy!

Oshikku Deru Deru Shiipappa

While looking for information about sumo, I somehow managed to stumble on this delightful little gem. It's just too awesome not to share with everybody. My favorite part is about 29 seconds into the video where his parents shout "Shimajiro, let's go for it together!" and he gives that determined little nod. He looks like a samurai facing battle. Also amusing was the little guy at the end shooting his fist into the air and shouting "Yatta!" meaning "Hooray!" or "I did it!" After expending so much effort in pursuit of a worthy goal, it's good to feel a proud sense of accomplishment.

(Unfortunately, the original YouTube video was taken down, but here is a link to another version of it, without subtitles. Unfortunately, that version won't allow me to embed the video.)

And for those of you who would like to sing along:

oshikko deru deru
shiipappa
shiipappa
shiipa shiipa
oshikko shiipappa

unchi deru deru
unpappa
uunpappa
unpa unpa
unchi uunpappa

It just another example of how the Japanese make everything look totally awesome!

Honey & Clover

A few days ago I finished watching season 1 of Honey & Clover, so I decided to write a brief post about my impressions.

Since I started watching anime about 2 years ago, I have been quite partial to slice of life stories. I enjoy animes like Diamond Daydreams, Welcome to the NHK, and Bartender. Of the relatively few animes I have seen over these last two years, Honey & Clover is definitely one of the best.

Honey & Clover follows the lives of five Japanese art school students as they each work through a very difficult period of change and self-discovery. The main characters are Yūta Takemoto, a shy yet earnest young 2nd year art student; Takumi Mayama, a serious student in his last year of art school; Ayumi Yamada, an attractive and extremely talented young potter; Shinobu Morita, an mysterious, insanely greedy yet strangely compelling individual repeating his "final" year of art school for the 3rd time; Hagumi Hanamoto ("Hagu" for short), a brilliant 18-year-old sculptor with the appearance and general demeanor of a much younger girl; and Shūji Hanamoto, an art school professor and guardian of Hagu, his late cousin's daughter.

Upon meeting her, Takemoto immediately falls in love with Hagu, whom he finds intriguing. Morita is also taken with Hagu, and expresses his feelings in ways that horribly frighten poor Hagu-chan, such as posing her to look like a forest fairy or a mouse and then frantically snapping picture after picture of his adorable creation. The beautiful Yamada, though adored by almost all of her male acquaintances, is in love with Mayama. Although aware of Yamada's feelings for him, Mayama is obsessed instead with an older woman by the name of Rika Harada. Rika had lost her husband in an auto accident and bears both the physical and emotional scars of that horrible day. As a result, she is withdrawn and aloof, pushing Mayama away out of fear of hurting him.

The tensions of this thorny situation are punctuated by moments of uproarious hilarity, almost always inspired by some outrageous plot or behavior of Morita's. In one such instance (episode 8), Morita creates a Twister-like game mat to give to Takemoto as a last-minute birthday gift, but he uses too many colors (such as lapis, moss green, ocher, mineral violet, and passion blue to name a few). The contortions needed to cover the proper colors result in both Morita and Takemoto injuring themselves during the game and collapsing in a depleted heap of lifeless limbs.

There are also moments of tender poignancy throughout. In one of the most memorable scenes (episode 6), Mayama has to carry Yamada, who has had too much to drink at a party, back to her house. On the way, Yamada breaks into tears, desperately repeating "suki" ("I love you"), to Mayama, who soberly acknowledges her with gentle grunts. She is precious to him, but he doesn't love her the way she loves him, and probably never will.

It is this delicate combination of pain and humor that make this anime such a pleasure to watch. After following the story of these characters, it is easy to become attached to them and to identify with their sadness as well as their joy. It was difficult having to watch it come to an end. I am sure it will be quite some time before we shall see the likes of another series so rich in heart and humanity and beauty.

How King Ghidora and Godzilla Crashed Our 4th of July

Spending the 4th of July with my folks this years was pleasant. I got to watch my stories with Mother (I sure hope they don't have Chelsea Brady break up with Nick Fallon and hook up with Jet Carver—unless they soften the blow by pairing the super-geeky Nick with someone even hotter, but smart this time). After the soap, Mom retired to the kitchen to whip up some of her famous macaroni salad (which I won't eat because of my aversion to freshly-cut chives and all other raw onion-like substances). While she was in the kitchen busily preparing her Epicurean classic—and the pungent sulphuric aroma of freshly cut chives began to fill the room—I decided to see what was on TV. While flipping through the channels in the hope of finding something interesting, I had a little thought. I said to Mother, "You know what would make this 4th of July even better?"

"What?" inquired Mother.

"A Godzilla Marathon!" I retorted, enthusiastically. Mother shook her head in dismayed resignation and returned to her gourmet task.

I continued flipping through channels, hoping for the impossible, then—SHAZAM!—there it was! As if in answer to a prayer, the program display showed four back-to back, commercial-free episodes of Godzilla movies! What joy! Then, as if that weren't enough, one of those movies was none other than the glorious 1991 Toho Productions masterpiece Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah!

So there you go, kids—if you wish hard enough, sometimes you can have it all!

King Ghidorah Lives!

When I was a little kid living in Kingman, Arizona, I used to get up every Saturday morning and watch a television show called World Beyond. It was my favorite show because it would present monster movies of every kind imaginable. This is where I was first exposed to the old Hammer Studios movies, Vincent Price movies, The Blob, and other movies of the same ilk. These movies were a lot of fun, to be sure, but they weren't what I most liked on World Beyond. Every Saturday morning when I tuned in, my young little heart would await in gleeful anticipation the announcement of this week's feature in the hopes of hearing one name: Godzilla!

I loved Godzilla movies. There was nothing more exciting to me than watching giant monsters collide with each other in the middle of Tokyo, or Osaka, or Planet X, or Monster Island. I thrilled at the moment of discovery when their varied monster powers were revealed for the first time. Some could breathe fire. Others shot electricity or beams of light. Some could even fly.

Out of all of Godzilla's formidable nemeses, not one of them was as awesome looking and as powerful as King Ghidorah. With his scaly gold skin and his three dragon-like heads and his huge bat-like wings, he was a glorious sight to behold! He could fly and shoot what looked like lightning bolts (they were actually called gravity beams) from all three of his mouths. He was the destroyer of worlds and the greatest threat that humanity had ever faced since the advent of nuclear weapons. In the movie Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster, Godzilla needed the help of both Rodan and Mothra just to defeat him!

Back in those days, I used to look out my bedroom window and imagine King Ghidorah on the distant horizon, slowly but steadily lumbering toward my house with his three heads bobbling wildly, shooting bolts of electric death to everything in his path. A friend of mine once told me that he had always believed as a kid (and probably still does to this day) that his love for Godzilla would protect him from being destroyed if Godzilla were ever to destroy his hometown. In contrast, I always knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that if King Ghidorah ever visited Kingman, AZ, I was most definitely going to be toast. He was a remorseless badass.

That's why I was absolutely overjoyed when that same Godzilla-loving friend of mine surprised me with the coolest gift I have received in a long time—a King Ghidorah action figure. My pictures don't really do it justice because my camera is not very good at taking close-up shots, but it is an awesome-looking toy. He now sits atop my computer monitor, standing guard in case any other 9" plastic monsters should enter my room with an eye toward creating mischief. Thanks, Brian, for the coolest present I've received in a long time!

[It should also be noted, that whenever Brian and I play Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee on his XBox, I always play King Ghidorah and he always plays Godzilla. I have yet to beat him.]

Satoshi Kon's "Paprika"

I have been a fan of Satoshi Kon ever since I first started watching his anime series Paranoia Agent on Adult Swim. The story was a fascinating look at a variety of social concerns, most notably the blurring of the distinction between fantasy and reality in both the media and in society at large. I also really loved the character design and the intricately detailed artistry of the backgrounds. I soon became acquainted with Kon's other works as well: the touching story of three homeless men trying to protect an abandoned baby in Tokyo Godfathers; the exploration of celebrity and malevolent obsession in the stylish thriller Perfect Blue; and the visually sumptuous Millenium Actress, with its gorgeously rendered depiction of an earnest and timeless romantic yearning. Because of the sheer beauty of his work, Satoshi Kon has become my favorite anime director. That is why I was thrilled to see that his latest work was recently released in selected U.S. cities.

Satoshi Kon's latest film Paprika may be both his most visually stunning and most disturbing film to date. In the story, a revolutionary device called the DC-Mini, enables therapists to enter the dreams of a psychiatric patient in the hopes of understanding the patient's neurosis or psychosis. Even though the device is still in the experimental stages and is not yet approved by the government for clinical use, Dr. Atsuka Chiba, in the guise of her alter ego—a pretty and mysterious young red-headed woman known to her clients only as "Paprika"—is using it to help people without the knowledge of her superior, the enigmatic Chairman. The Chairman himself seems somewhat dubious, if not hostile, toward the technology.

Before the government is able to approve the DC-MINI for use, three of the prototypes are stolen by an unknown party. The inventor, a hyperbolically corpulent genius named Tokita, advises Dr. Chiba that the three stolen devices could potentially allow the thief to enter into the dreams of anybody hooked up to a psychotherapeutic computer. The Chairman sees this as an opportunity to pull the plug on the nascent technology. When other scientists from the lab begin to go mad with the deluded dreams of other psychiatric patients, it is discovered that anyone who has been exposed to the DC-MINI, whether currently connected to it or not, can be placed into a psychotic dream state even while still awake. It is then up to Dr. Chiba—and Paprika—to enter into the twisted dreamworld into which these scientists are trapped and try to discover the evil mastermind behind it all.

The dreamworld imagery is some of the most imaginative animation ever shown on the big screen. One particularly rich dream has a polychromatic parade of flute-playing frogs, dancing kitchen appliances and ominous Japanese dolls. Reality becomes fluid, with scene after scene melding into ever more imaginative sequences with dizzying rapidity as the imperilled heroine attempts to escape from one exquisitely detailed trap only to fall into another. The conspiracy is soon laid bare, leading to an apocalyptic confrontation between those wishing to heal the world and the one who seeks to enslave and control it.

The whole experience was both exciting and exhilaratingly disorienting. This movie stands as a beautiful reminder of why I became hooked on Japanese animation in the first place. More than any other form of animation, Japanese anime has consistently provided the most diverse and awe-inspiringly imaginative realms into which fans are able to immerse themselves. In this most magnificent of art forms, Satoshi Kon stands as one its most luminous geniuses.

This film is rated R for brief animated nudity and strongly disturbing imagery. Definitely not for kids!

Prom Queen...Season Two!!????!?!?!?

I just watched what I thought would be the final episode of Prom Queen wherein, I was foolish enough to believe, all mysteries would be revealed. But instead, The Creators pulled the ol' "stay tuned for season two" fakearoo. Such insolence!

This is the same nonsense they pulled with Sam Has 7 Friends (episodes can still be seen here). That show tantalized us with the tagline: "Samantha Breslow has seven friends. On December 15, 2006, one of them will kill her." I loved Sam, and watched religiously, awaiting the inevitable final Death Episode. When the final episode was posted, I was quite surprised to see that they did not reveal which of her friends had killed her, but instead gave a teaser for a second season of Sam in which all of Sam's friends would be murdered...except one. That sounded awesome! Who doesn't love six times the carnage in your favorite soap opera podcast? Only problem is, season two has yet to materialize.

The creators posted a message on the forum that big-time corporate honcho Michael Eisner (under whose watch the Disney Corporation distributed such heartwarming family classics as Pulp Fiction, Trainspotting, and Hellraiser: Bloodline) had agreed to produce a new series of theirs called Prom Queen. What is more, he had also purchased the rights to Sam season one and the options to Sam season two. The Creators also advised us that the "future of Sam is really dependent upon the success of Prom Queen." Now Prom Queen season one is over, but there is still no word from The Creators regarding the fate of Sam. That's right...Sam's death may forever remain an epic mystery, on a par with the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, the identity of Jack the Ripper, or the recipe for Crystal Pepsi. All I can do is hope that the same fate doesn't befall Prom Queen. These podcast shows were quite innovative and intriguing. It would be quite distressing if the man responsible for unleashing Kazaam and Ernest Scared Stupid on an unsuspecting world were to pull the plug on these two exciting and interesting projects.

So, Michael Eisner, if you happen to read this, please have mercy. Even if you have to buy your Beluga caviar at Costco or maybe get your haircuts at Supercuts for a year, please do whatever you can to make sure that these shows have a chance to live and spread joy and rainbows to tens of thousands of people all across the internet! Please, if not for me, do it for the sake of this puppy:

Original source here. Some rights reserved.