Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Futility

Hello again, gentle readers. I just wanted to check in and fill you in on the latest. It would appear that, so far, the Million Monkey Typewriter Consortium has hit the proverbial wall in its attempt to provide usable material for Kungfupower Blog. However, since I am paying tens of dollars annually for this service (and because I'm out of haiku), I have decided to post some of the more legible bits that have emerged just so that you can see the difficulty I am facing with this project. These fragments are quoted directly, in all of their random glory, but please bear in mind that the writers of said fragments are, in fact, just monkeys with tiny little monkey brains...pounding randomly on typewriters. I apologize in advance.

Example 1:
"...he;;placedhis hand.onher\gen7tly heaving;;;;; can.of p0rkandsbeans..."

ooh la la...très romantique, non?

Example 2:
"...your a grea tguy;donteve.r;changge :P..."

Something like this was written numerous times in my high school yearbook, but that was a completely different set of monkeys at work there.

Example 3:
"...0bama-fo;rchangeyukanbe.lievin..."

I've long suspected that campaign slogans were acquired by this method, and here's the smoking gun!

Example 4:
"...E=mc3..."

So close! Keep trying, little monkey!

And last but not least, here is my personal favorite:

"...poopiefartstinkcookieapple..."

I'm going to have a t-shirt made with that one.

Nevertheless, despite these minor setbacks, I still have faith in the monkey thing. It is a good plan and just needs time to work. If there's one thing I've learned from living in California and observing the goings on in Sacramento for the past 8 years, it's that there is no problem too big that it can't eventually be fixed by a large room full of monkeys throwing vast sums of money down a black hole.