Coo d'État

At the bus stop today, I saw a pigeon trying to eat a hard chunk of bread, but he couldn't break it up, so he gave up and waddled away. Then another, rattier pigeon with a lone, ratty white feather sticking out the top of his head, took a turn at it and had the same bad luck. So, to be helpful, I crushed the bread into small bits with my shoe. Old Rat-face went to town on it, gobbling it up greedily. But then Mr. Original came back and wanted to get in on that sweet, dirty bread crust. At first, Rat-face kept crust blocking Mr. Original with his body, and they both started making threatening angry pigeon cooing sounds at each other. Then, suddenly, they started battling it out, Mutual-of-Omaha's-Wild-Kingdom-style, shoving each other with their chests and smacking their ratty pigeon heads together. Rat-face drove Mr. Original back into the gutter, but before the victor even had time to celebrate his flawless victory, a homeless dude walked up and scared them both away. True story.