The Start of It All

Howdy there, friends. Let's get this blog started off with a bang. What can I say about myself by way of introduction? First and foremost, my kung fu is the best! In case you are wondering...yes, I also have mad ninja skills. Not only that, but I've been known to stick to all the suckas, and my flow is totally dope. But enough about that.

I started this blog in the hopes of...I'm not sure what. When I was younger I felt like I just had so many important things to say about all the grave and pressing problems of the age, that I sometimes felt as if my heart would burst if I just didn't let it all out. Well, that's when I was young and dumb and thought that voting was the consummate act of meaningful self-expression. Wow...sometimes I wish that I could go backward in time and pimp-slap some sense into my head, but I have it on good authority (Jean-Claude van Damme's sci-fi masterpiece Timecop, for one) that "the same matter cannot occupy the same space," which is a fancy pseudo-scientific Hollywood way of saying that slapping my past idealistic self will result in some sort of cheesy CGI body-merging melting explosion-type thing.

Anyway, what I mean to say is that I have no illusions of being some sort of sage or prophet...although you are more than welcome to send me whatever offerings (cars, money, cigarettes, etc..) that you may deem necessary to obtain grace in my sight. Nevertheless, I hope that you, gentle readers, will find some amusement in some of the things I have to say. I thank you for tuning in.