How King Ghidora and Godzilla Crashed Our 4th of July

Spending the 4th of July with my folks this years was pleasant. I got to watch my stories with Mother (I sure hope they don't have Chelsea Brady break up with Nick Fallon and hook up with Jet Carver—unless they soften the blow by pairing the super-geeky Nick with someone even hotter, but smart this time). After the soap, Mom retired to the kitchen to whip up some of her famous macaroni salad (which I won't eat because of my aversion to freshly-cut chives and all other raw onion-like substances). While she was in the kitchen busily preparing her Epicurean classic—and the pungent sulphuric aroma of freshly cut chives began to fill the room—I decided to see what was on TV. While flipping through the channels in the hope of finding something interesting, I had a little thought. I said to Mother, "You know what would make this 4th of July even better?"

"What?" inquired Mother.

"A Godzilla Marathon!" I retorted, enthusiastically. Mother shook her head in dismayed resignation and returned to her gourmet task.

I continued flipping through channels, hoping for the impossible, then—SHAZAM!—there it was! As if in answer to a prayer, the program display showed four back-to back, commercial-free episodes of Godzilla movies! What joy! Then, as if that weren't enough, one of those movies was none other than the glorious 1991 Toho Productions masterpiece Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah!

So there you go, kids—if you wish hard enough, sometimes you can have it all!